Protecting Your Family Matters Newsletter, Summer 2024 ●
Are you the same person you were 20 or 30 years ago? Even 10? Are we our same selves in any given era of life? Of course, the answer to each of these questions is “no.”
Times change, and eras or “epochs” of our lives change with them. We can look back on who we were in high school, college, or graduate/law school, and so on, and we were continually changing, hopefully evolving as individuals. Similarly, when we became parents, our needs and selves adapted. For example, being a mom or dad to a toddler was different from raising teenagers. Times and needs change, and these truths are no different in our marriages.
When speaking with my clients, it often seems they once had a “Hollywood” mentality regarding marriage. There are many films featuring couples living happily ever after as if the happy moments we enjoy will be the day-to-day norm and everything will work out perfectly. It is tragic to me that most people going through divorce realize that they have experienced just that: fantasy. They did not sign up for the tough times and were caught unaware of the tremendous amount of commitment, work, and compromise marriage takes over time and eras. As it often turns out, we do not always grow in the same ways, and everyone’s eras are uniquely their own.