As 2017 draws to a close and we look forward to a fresh start in the New Year, we would like to suggest some new habits for your consideration. Divorce is a challenging process at any time of the year, but a renewed outlook and new practices in January will give you a greater sense of control and empowerment. Take some time over the holidays, perhaps when your children are with your ex (or soon-to-be-ex), to commit to some or all of these.
Get organized. This means doing some groundwork: have all of your records, documents, income tax returns, budgets, bank, brokerage and credit card statements, appraisals, insurance documents, pink slips, and wills and trusts copied, organized, and ready to give to your lawyer. Remove all important documents from your home and place them in a safety deposit box or with a trusted friend.
Get equipped. Consider getting a separate e-mail address and scanner/fax machine for your home or office. Maintaining private, dedicated means of communication with your attorney and team of advisers is always smart.
Be an active participant with your attorney. It is essential to work with your attorney in the most productive ways possible. Don’t use your lawyer as a hand-holder. Constant phone calls for support, reassurance, or just venting, will not only be unproductive, but also costly. You and your attorney are a team, but this relationship is not meant to be a therapeutic one.
Reveal all. Do not hold back anything from your lawyer. Working closely together requires you to be truthful, thorough, and forthright. If, for example, you have “phantom” income that suddenly appears as a result of investigation by the other side, or you say something counterproductive in a deposition that could come back to haunt you, you may be defeating your own purpose. No matter how good your counsel, if he or she is caught off guard because you failed to reveal important information, you will find yourself defenseless.
Reset. Once these productive actions are completed, you will be ready to take on the New Year’s challenges and opportunities. This process, in reality, is a gift to yourself and one that will continue to bear fruit as you move through the divorce process.
We wish you happy, peaceful holidays and a positive, productive start to 2018.