When Divorce Hurts: Understanding the Stages of Grief

Stacy D. Phillips ●

Change in life can be painful, especially after losing someone who is or was once dear to your heart. In moments like these, grief can feel overwhelming, but understanding it is often the first step toward healing. Divorce, in particular, often carries a sense of loss comparable to the death or serious illness of a family member. Recognizing that grief and learning to process it are vital steps to moving forward.

Years ago, a psychological framework was developed to help explain the emotional responses of individuals facing terminal illness or death. Known as the Kübler-Ross model, this framework has been widely applied to experiences of personal grief and loss. The model describes five primary emotional stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Though these stages are not necessarily linear and may recur over time, they offer a helpful framework for understanding emotional responses to loss, including grief that can accompany divorce.

The Winds of Change Move Quickly

Change is inevitable, regardless of the stage of life we find ourselves in. Unlike the death of a loved one, grief after a divorce often unfolds in quieter, more complex ways. Although the marriage has ended, the person we have lost often remains with us, not only in our memories, but sometimes woven into everyday moments. This lingering presence can create uncertainty and complex emotions, often requiring patience and resilience as individuals learn to navigate a new reality.. However, when continued interaction is necessary, particularly when children are involved, the emotional weight can deepen, stretching grief over time rather than allowing it a clear ending. Denial is often the first response, and one that can come surprisingly easily. Although life undergoes significant transitions, divorce represents a deliberate decision that can alter an individual’s self-perception, identity, and self-worth. The impact of such changes differs from person to person and may occur in unforeseen ways. These shifts are often most apparent in relationships with friends and family, as well as in the daily social adjustments required in this new chapter of life.

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Attorney Spotlight: New York

Stacy D. Phillips ●

This edition of Attorney Spotlight highlights one of my honored New York City colleagues in Blank Rome’s Matrimonial & Family Law group—Lois Liberman.

Lois J. Liberman
Partner

A graduate of Wellesley College and the University of Buffalo Law School, Lois boasts more than 30 years of experience in family law, and that experience is proven through the incredible work she does for her clients. Lois is an absolutely exceptional attorney, with a personality that displays a brilliant and empathetic nature, along with an exceedingly practical approach that supports her clients within each individual situation they are facing. 

Lois began working in family law fairly early in her career and has always found herself to be the type of person that anyone could tell their full life story, and Lois would be there to listen. The practice of family law comes naturally to her and the qualities of Lois’ character shine through her legal practice. 

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