Following in the Footsteps of Trailblazers and Serving as Role Models Today for the Next Generation of Women

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Stacy D. Phillips ●

When I was growing up, there were only a few visible career choices for women and even fewer high-profile role models. The traditional roles for women outside of being a homemaker and mother (which are truly admirable and hard-working jobs) often included being a teacher, a highly visible profession for women. Being a teacher is a commendable and (sadly) generally unappreciated profession, but it simply was not for me. Women had other professional options, like being in the medical profession as a nurse or doctor, but unfortunately, I hated needles, so I ruled them out quickly.

My mother was a travel agent, and after watching her suffer through that challenging profession, I quickly crossed that one off the list. Before I was born and through my early years, my mother was also a clothing buyer for a department store, which appealed to me more, particularly given my life-long love for clothes and fashion. However, in the end, I would have needed to be sufficiently passionate about retail sales to take the plunge, and I was not.

Following in the Family Business

My father, grandfather, and several relatives were highly accomplished lawyers, making going into the law field a no-brainer. Beyond the considerable influence of my dad, the thing that inspired me to pursue the law was seeing the success of two women who were his law partners. These two high-powered, well-known female attorneys made a lasting impression on me. One played a pivotal role in drafting the equitable distribution statute for the State of New York, which governs the division of assets in the event of a divorce. These trailblazers showed that women could make a difference in this profession and succeed. Their accomplishments resonated with my desire to make a difference, open doors for women, and bring the highest ethical standards to my work.

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Collaborative Divorce: A Viable Option for High Net-Worth Couples

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Stacy D. Phillips ●

Contrary to popular belief, divorce is not always an ugly, highly confrontational affair. According to a Forbes report in 2022, approximately 90 percent of the half million divorces in the United States yearly are uncontested. Of these uncontested cases, some were settled because both parties agreed on everything, or in other cases, one party simply never responded to the divorce filing and failed to appear in court.

A percentage of uncontested divorces are collaborative divorces. Collaborative divorce involves the married parties going through an agreed-upon dispute resolution process to settle all issues related to dissolving the marriage. These proceedings are not done in a courtroom before a judge; instead, they are conducted privately between the parties, with their lawyers and a team of professionals, including forensic accountants and appraisers.

Collaborative divorce requires that the parties sign a binding agreement to participate in the collaborative divorce process. Everyone then comes together to decide on issues, such as property division, spousal support, and child-related matters, negotiating compromises until both sides are amenable to the final result.

The contract binding the parties to this collaborative agreement also includes language mandating that the parties must hire new lawyers and other professionals if the collaborative process does not work. The fear of that new huge expense encourages parties to keep coming back to the table and trying to resolve their issues throughout the process.

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A Divorce Court Prioritizes a Family’s Best Interests

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New York Law Journal, March 29, 2024 ●

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

At times, this author has noticed a certain level of dejectedness among matrimonial lawyers in the post-pandemic world, and that includes yours truly. The feeling stems from what many matrimonial lawyers have told me is a sense that our judicial system is understaffed, and in desperate need of more resources.

More specifically, I hear about (and experience) a growing number of motions that are left undecided, judgments of divorce that seem to take eons to get signed (and then entered), and clients who are, accordingly, left somewhat disillusioned by the process.

But most concerning is a sentiment I’ve started to hear recently, which is that the best interests of families are not being prioritized, and not out of any ill will, but simply because our judicial system is overwhelmed and cannot practically keep up with the relentless flow of divorce cases that enter the system daily.

Perhaps that is why, when I read Judge Victor G. Grossman’s recent decision in J.H. v. C.H., 2024 NY Slip Op 50220(U) (Supreme Court, Putnam County), I couldn’t help but smile in complete satisfaction from start to finish, because in this case, a divorce court did what we, as matrimonial lawyers, can only hope for: it prioritized the best interests of a family.

Read more on our website.

Great Strides for Women and the Long Road Still Ahead: My Personal Views of an Inspiring Evening with the Honorable Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi

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Stacy D. Phillips ●

Stacy Phillips and Nancy Pelosi February 2024
Photo: Courtesy of Public Counsel (Feb. 2024), Hugh Williams Photography

Many civics-minded people dream of meeting and interacting with a former Speaker of the House of Representatives. And despite my profound respect for having risen to the top of her profession, if I am honest, I had not idolized Honorable Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi before meeting her a few weeks ago. But I do now.

Not only is Nancy Pelosi someone who has helped to lead our nation over the past few decades, she has also been an unwavering role model and champion for women and a fierce advocate for equality and fairness. But after having the great fortune to meet her and speak with her and hear her talk to a room full of community leaders, I am now a massive fan. Yes, I am duly impressed with her public service and government leadership track record; she blew me away when I learned she was a mother who raised five children before ever seeking public office. Blown away may be an understatement.

We were both attending the annual William O. Douglas Award gala for Public Counsel, the largest nonprofit public interest law firm in the country dedicated to advancing civil rights and racial and economic justice and amplifying the power of our clients through comprehensive legal advocacy. I am the current Vice Chair and the incoming Chair, starting in October of this year. Nancy Pelosi was our distinguished honoree and the recipient of our prestigious Douglas Award, which is named after late U.S. Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas.

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Let’s Imagine a Ban on Prenuptial Agreements

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New York Law Journal, March 5, 2024 ●

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

Let us begin this writing/reading experience by clearing the air right from the start: the answer is “no”—this author does not believe that prenuptial agreements should be banned. We live in a free country, with free will, and the freedom to enter into contracts is a staple of American jurisprudence.

We tell our clients, rightfully so, that prenuptial agreements are intended to provide certainty to a point where the soon to be newlyweds can rest assured that issues of equitable distribution, spousal support, and rights on death will be safely walled off from the prospect of litigation, or, at least the scope of potential disputes will be limited if judicial intervention becomes necessary.

But if that is the case, then it begs the question why we keep seeing prenuptial agreements at the center of, yes, divorce litigation. There also appears to be a growing sentiment, at least in the podcast ecosystem, that prenuptial agreements may not be worth the paper they are written on.

The title of this article is designed to provoke a discussion about the viability of prenuptial agreements. A cookie cutter, redundant discussion of the elemental components of a prenuptial agreement will, in my view, get us nowhere and answer none of our questions.

Instead, we ought to look at how prenuptial agreements are being interpreted and enforced by our courts to better understand why we, as divorce lawyers, oftentimes see prenuptial agreements as uniquely complex legal instruments that are fraught with the potential for peril.

Read more on our website.

In the News

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Below is a roundup of our attorneys’ recent awards, recognitions, media, and other accomplishments from around the country.


The Unhappiest (or Happiest, for Some) Month of the Year – January is National Divorce Month (Or Is It?)
January 25, 2024 – In this LinkedIn Article, Stacy D. Phillips shares her thoughts on what has become to be known as National Divorce Month.

 
My In-Laws Asked Me to Relinquish Any Claim to $100,000 They Gave Us as a Down Payment for Our House — On the Day We Closed. Is That Legal?
January 25, 2024 – Ory Apelboim was interviewed by MarketWatch discussing marital property rights within postnuptial agreements.
 
Stacy D. Phillips named one of the 2024 Top 10 Super Lawyers of Southern California
January 18, 2024 – Stacy D. Phillips has been named one of the 2024 Top 10 Super Lawyers of Southern California, an honor she has achieved every year since 2013.
 
Stacy D. Phillips named one of the 2024 Top 50 Women Super Lawyers of Southern California
January 18, 2024 – Stacy D. Phillips has been named one of the 2024 Top 50 Women Super Lawyers of Southern California, an honor she has achieved every year since 2005.
 
Stacy D. Phillips named one of the 2024 Top 100 Super Lawyers of Southern California
January 18, 2024 – Stacy D. Phillips has been named one of the 2024 Top 100 Super Lawyers of Southern California, an honor she has achieved every year since 2006.
 
Disarming the Narcissist: with guest expert Wendy Behary
January 11, 2024 – Lois J. Liberman hosted this webinar with Wendy Behary, an author and expert on the subject of narcissism and the approach one should take when dealing with narcissists.
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New York May Have Fault Divorce Nostalgia Syndrome

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New York Law Journal, February 5, 2024 ●

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

However it may be that you define the word “romance,” it is undeniable that romance runs through the river that is the divorce process. On a superficial level, that juxtaposition may seem incomprehensible, but even the divorce lawyer that is half paying attention knows full well that romance is part and parcel of the divorce story.

Of course, there are always exceptions. Some divorcing persons decree that they will never partake in any romantic relationships for the rest of time. Many, however, cannot resist the allure of togetherness, and that brings us to the topic of dating during divorce, and more specifically, the Appellate Division, First Department’s recent decision in Allen v. Allen, 2023 N.Y. Slip Op. 06588 (N.Y. App. Div. 2023).

This author was admittedly surprised at the sheer volume of articles, blogs, and punditry online about the topic of dating during divorce, and whether or not it is “allowed” in New York while a divorce action is pending. A Google search of “can you date during divorce in New York” yields an affirmative answer but with caveats and warnings of potentially entering the Gates of Hades.

Some websites respond to the question with this quote: “those who choose to do this should be extremely cautious.” Others advise that dating during divorce “isn’t a great idea.” Then there are the “dos and don’ts” of dating during divorce, how to “take it slow,” and not to be forgotten in our current culture, how to “use the apps” during divorce.

Putting aside the mountain of talking heads on this topic, in New York’s “irretrievable breakdown” (i.e., no-fault) divorce structure—which as I will discuss below is not a true no-fault regime—dating during divorce should in theory be a non-issue, unless of course in the financial context there are issues of marital waste.

Read more on our website.

Attorney Spotlight: New York—Steve Goldfeder

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Stacy D. Phillips ●

This edition of Attorney Spotlight highlights another one of my revered New York City colleagues in Blank Rome’s Matrimonial & Family Law group—Steve Goldfeder.

Steven W. Goldfeder
Partner

A graduate of The University of New York at Albany and Brooklyn Law School, Steve has been practicing law for over 30 years and is a fantastic member of our Matrimonial & Family Law team at the firm. A native New Yorker, Steve became involved in matrimonial law right after law school and took to it well. Looking back at his career, Steve appreciates that as a matrimonial lawyer, he has had the opportunity to help people during one of the most difficult parts of their lives. Steve often finds that his clients are very grateful for the help he has provided, which can be the most rewarding feeling as an attorney.

When working with clients who are going through a very emotional divorce, Steve explains that as a lawyer, a “bedside manner” is often just as important as the skills and experience he provides. When a person approaches an attorney to handle their divorce, they do not just want a skilled lawyer. They also need to trust their legal counsel with their life and story despite how the separation impacts them. Steve is a lawyer with the ability to empathize with his clients and to also truly understand them.

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The Other Side of the Fence: Getting to Know Loneliness (and Yourself) after Divorce

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Stacy D. Phillips

Divorce is a lot of things. The experience drives, introduces, and perhaps even throws us entirely into a new reality. That is true even if we wanted the divorce. Yet whatever the experience or emotions one may have because of divorce, it is most certainly an end. A feeling (sometimes an overwhelming feeling) of loneliness after divorcing is a normal emotion. Loneliness can overwhelm the very best of us, and that yearning for companionship, friendship, and in many cases, completion, can often seem to be far too consuming to handle even for one more day. Nevertheless, the next day is coming, and the world is turning whether one welcomes this new normal or not.

Quite often, this new reality seems nothing but cold and unyielding. Many of us have had (or currently are having) that feeling of being in a fugue state after a relationship’s end. It really can be jarring to our entire systems. You are now a single person, and “single” brings with it its own brand of new. How long we can linger in this state is entirely up to ourselves.

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The Unhappiest (or Happiest, for Some) Month of the Year – January is National Divorce Month (Or Is It?)

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Stacy D. Phillips ●

I love a good national holiday. Who doesn’t? But even though I am a divorce attorney, National Divorce Month is not particularly high on my list of celebratory events.

January has been dubbed Divorce Month by family lawyers because in December, when everyone is wrapped up in the holidays and spending time with family and friends, many people rightly do not want to proceed with a separation or divorce. These actions would ruin the holidays for all parties involved and leave sad memories and associations long after the pain has subsided. Typically, couples will save marital changes until the start of a new year.

Of course, Divorce Month might be something of a myth. Fox News reported back in 2015 that divorce filings consistently peak during March and August. These trends are fascinating anecdotally, but February and September might also be strong candidates. After Valentine’s Day, when things don’t go so well, and maybe September, once the summer is over and the kids are going back to school, are times when married couples take stock of their relationship and consider whether or not to seek a divorce. Frankly, I want to validate if divorce filings statistically increase in these months for the whole country—consistent with my empirical observations.

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