Tag Archives: litigation

Daughters of Divorce Must Pay Sorority Expenses—Sometimes

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New York Law Journal, September 1, 2023 ●

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

Do you, in 2023, believe that you have your finger on the pulse of what it means to go through the process of sorority “rush”?  If your answer is “no,” head on over to the immersive world of #bamarush, #bamarushtok, #bamarushtok2023 and/or #RushTok.

Give yourself 5 to 10 minutes observing the lengths to which sorority rushers prepare for the rush experience, not to mention the lengths to which parents bury social media with this TikTok and that TikTok about how they are lending a helping hand in filling their daughters’ rush “bags.”

Data on the cost of being in a sorority varies; you will find some outlets claiming that, for example, it costs students more than $4,000 per semester to belong to a sorority at the University of Alabama. Other outlets show that cost to be between $7,465 and $9,445 at the same university. A general range of costs can also be found on the internet, suggesting $1,000 to $4,750 per semester. In any event, to be blunt, sorority expenses are not cheap.

Which brings us to this question: in a New York divorce, who pays for sorority expenses? We can look to Judge Sondra Mendelson-Toscano’s decision in C.A.B. v. D.S.B. (Family Court, Nassau, NYLJ 7/11/23), for guidance.

Read more on our website.

Deposition Skills 101: A Lawyer’s Behavior Matters

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New York Law Journal, August 3, 2023 ●

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

There is a line at the tail end of Francis Ford Coppola’s The Rainmaker that regrettably carries meaning in the profession of law, year after year. That line, delivered by “Rudy Baylor” (played by Matt Damon), was as follows:

“Every lawyer, at least once in every case, feels himself crossing a line that he doesn’t really mean to cross. It just happens. And if you cross it enough times, it disappears forever. And then you’re nothing but another lawyer joke, just another shark in the dirty water.”

This author started taking and defending depositions in the early 2000s. My training was laser-focused on the content of the questions, witness preparation, and above all else, the insatiable—and short-sighted—quest to box in the witness to the point where a “gotcha” moment is achieved and you can pat yourself on the back for being the second coming of Perry Mason.

Absent from my training was a discussion about how a lawyer should behave himself or herself at deposition, and why that behavior is relevant. Can you recall a deposition skills training course, be it a CLE or otherwise, where you were taught about the implications of your behavior?  I cannot. Any lawyer that has taken or defended depositions has likely received an education in how to behave (and not behave) at deposition.

Read more on our website.

Adjournment Requests in Divorce Litigation: Be Kind

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New York Law Journal, July 17, 2023 ●

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

Founded by a Marine in 2017, the “Til Valhalla Project” has donated over $1 million to #Mission22 as part of the fight against veteran suicide. This year, the project rolled out a simple message: “Be Kind.” The foundation of the message is straightforward: “With each kind act, we make the world a little bit better.”

On the subject of kindness, we turn to requests for adjournments in matrimonial practice. Requests for adjournments from your opposing counsel (also known as your adversary) are a routine occurrence. Sometimes you may have double-booked. Other times, you might find yourself overwhelmed on one matter and in need of an adjournment on another matter. Or, you might request an adjournment so that you do not miss a milestone involving a family member. And then, there are those times that a request for an adjournment is made for personal reasons, be it due to issues of physical, or mental health.

The question becomes whether and under what circumstances do you, as the recipient of the request for an adjournment, say “yes” or “no.” Once again, no training was provided to us in law school on how to answer this question.

Read more on our website.

Attorney Spotlight: Los Angeles

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Stacy D. Phillips ●

This edition of Attorney Spotlight highlights one of my Los Angeles colleagues—Pauline Martin. Pauline has more than two decades of litigation experience, handling all areas of family law, as well as a range of clients’ other legal needs. Her commercial litigation experience, especially in partnership dissolution and employment-related matters, adds a unique perspective to her family law practice. Please enjoy learning more about her.

Pauline M. Martin
Of Counsel

Pauline M. Martin is a relentless litigator who focuses on passionate advocacy for the families she represents so they can move their lives forward with dignity, security, and grace. Pauline took a circuitous route to the practice of family law, beginning her legal career as a commercial litigator with time at national law firms as well as aggressive boutique litigation firms before taking some time away from law firm life as a new mom. She also helped develop a groundbreaking insurance program, which covers the risk of paying an adversary’s attorneys’ fees in a contract dispute. The product was hailed by the legal community as a “game changer” in contract litigation and was eventually sold to a publicly traded insurance carrier.

After her then-three-year-old son suggested she go back to work so he could stay for afternoon pre-school with his friends, Pauline found a new professional home practicing family law with Stacy Phillips. Pauline has developed a passion for resolving the intimate issues of custody cases, where her background as a general litigator has been an asset as she crafts specialized and sophisticated solutions to each client’s unique issues and family needs. Pauline acts practically to find common ground with the opposing party without resorting to the kind of knee-jerk scorched earth litigation tactics that she believes many times do more harm than good. She also uses her skill and tenacity to fight in court when necessary to advance the goals of her clients when it is clear amicable resolution is no longer an option.

Perhaps Your Biggest Asset Following Divorce: The Bank Account of Emotional Capital

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Alan R. Feigenbaum

A necessary part of every divorce action is financial disclosure in the form of a “Statement of Net Worth,” in which a client details their assets, liabilities, and monthly expenses. When clients send the form back, we attorneys are laser-focused on whether each and every asset and liability has been disclosed: bank accounts, business interests, real estate, whole life insurance, loans, mortgages, etc.

What you will not find on any Statement of Net Worth is what I have come to call the Bank Account of Emotional Capital. I’m sure you’re wondering how we go about defining this mysterious, intangible asset. Very simply: what you have in this invisible but quite essential account represents your ability to transition to the next chapter of life—after divorce.

Each divorce case is unique. Everyone’s familial circumstances are unique. There will always be divorce cases that do not lend themselves to a resolution prior to trial. That said, in many divorce cases, the time will come when the attorney can see an “Exit” door for their client, meaning a path to resolving the dispute, well before trial is on the horizon. When that happens, the opportunity to make a sizeable deposit to a client’s Bank Account of Emotional Capital is there for the taking. Continue reading →