What It Means to Have ‘Joint Legal Custody’

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

New York Law Journal, November 1, 2024 —

As divorce lawyers, when we break down the parameters of “physical custody” and “legal custody,” we tend to proceed on autopilot.

Meaning, we immediately begin to determine what could be a workable “regular schedule” (which parent is with a child, when, and for how long, in a 14-night cycle, i.e., 7-7, 8-6, 9-5) and a “holiday/vacation schedule,” i.e., who has this holiday versus that holiday in “even-numbered” vs. “odd-numbered” years.

We then get to work on how “major decisions” affecting a child’s welfare will be made, e.g., sole decision-making, joint decision-making, joint decision-making with a parenting coordinator as a “tiebreaker” of sorts, etc.

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Reconciling the Law of ‘Cohabitation’ with Social Realities

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

New York Law Journal, October 10, 2024 —

Many statutes have been on the books for decades in the State of New York. Some of those statutes have been amended over time to bring them current with evolving social realities. Other statutes, however, have remained the same.

An example of a statute that has largely remained untouched for years on end is Section 248 of the New York Domestic Relations Law (DRL). In general terms, DRL §248 empowers New York courts to modify a final judgment of divorce or order made with respect to alimony—termed “maintenance” in New York—upon proof that the payee “is habitually living with another person and holding himself or herself out as the spouse of such other person, although not married to such other person.”

The interplay between DRL §248 and current social realities was on display in the recent decision of the Supreme Court, Nassau County (Justice Stacy D. Bennett) in the matter of Ceppos v. Ceppos.

In Ceppos, the parties married in 1987. They executed a Stipulation of Settlement in 2019, and they were officially divorced in 2020. The Stipulation of Settlement provided that the wife’s alimony payments “shall immediately terminate” upon the first to occur of several events, one of which was “Cohabitation by the [wife] pursuant to DRL §248.”

In support of the ex-husband’s motion to terminate his alimony payments, he argued that his ex-wife “habitually cohabitated” with her present fiancé “for years”, and that before the Stipulation of Settlement was signed, the ex-wife “acknowledged residing with her then-boyfriend but she represented that her cohabitation with her boyfriend was temporary and that she would secure an alternate residence in the event she received maintenance from the ex-husband.” The ex-husband claimed that his “reliance” on the ex-wife’s “misrepresentation was pivotal to the negotiation process.”

It comes as no surprise that the ex-wife argued that her ex-husband “knew that she was living with an unrelated male yet continued to make payments to her for a substantial period of time.” Further, while the ex-wife conceded that she was engaged to be married, she “never held herself out as married to her fiancé.”

Read more on our website.

Confidentiality Orders in Divorce Have Teeth

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

New York Law Journal, September 25, 2024 —

Non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) and matters of confidentiality regularly intersect with divorce practice. More than that, NDAs have become so commonplace they have been referred to in mainstream media as “the defining legal document of our time.”

Over the years, this author has found that when a client asks what the consequences might be of violating an NDA or a confidentiality order, there is a dearth of decisional law to draw from in New York that can provide the client with any meaningful assurances.

That changed, however, when I read Justice Kathleen Waterman-Marshall’s decision in J.N. v. T.N., 2024 NY Slip Op 51017(U) Decided on Aug. 7, 2024.

Justice Waterman-Marshall’s decision in J.N. is critical for at least three reasons: (1) It provides the client who is concerned about his/her spouse’s violation of a confidentiality order with the assurance that yes, there are indeed consequences to such behavior; (2) It provides the client who is considering playing with fire so to speak, i.e., who is considering testing the bounds of a confidentiality order, with a clear illustration of the risks attendant to that behavior; and (3) Most importantly, the J.N. decision is a reminder that court orders matter.

That conclusion—that court orders matter—may seem obvious to some. But too often, we have seen court orders flouted, without repercussions to the party violating the court order(s) often due to an overwhelmed judicial system. The result is an ever-growing base of clients who have understandably become disillusioned and doubtful that the courts will enforce their orders.

Shifting to the substance, in J.N., the wife, in a post-divorce proceeding, moved for contempt against the husband based upon violations of a so-ordered confidentiality stipulation, two court orders and the divorce judgment (which directed compliance with the so-ordered confidentiality stipulation), as a result of the husband’s disclosure of the wife’s confidential documents and information to the public on three separate occasions.

Read more on our website.

In the News

Below is a roundup of our attorneys’ recent awards, recognitions, media, and other accomplishments from around the country.

You Don’t Need a French Vineyard to Have a Prolonged Divorce Proceeding
July 25, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Alan R. Feigenbaum authored this New York Times article discussing the occasionally absurd length of divorce proceedings amidst disputes over finances.

 
Chambers High Net Worth 2024 Highly Ranks Blank Rome Matrimonial & Family Law Group and Attorneys
July 24, 2024 – Blank Rome is pleased to announce that Chambers High Net Worth 2024 has highly ranked our firm’s Matrimonial & Family Law practice group in California and New York, as well as co-chairs Kristina Royce and Brett S. Ward and partners Marilyn B. ChinitzNorman S. HellerLois J. LibermanMorgan Fraser MouchetteSophie Jacobi-ParisiStacy D. Phillips, and Mary T. Vidas.


Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie’s Divorce Battle Nears 8 Years as His Romance with Girlfriend Heats Up
July 24, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Sophie Jacobi-Parisi speaks to Fox News Digital about some of the financial hesitation that may come with the divorce between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. 


Shannen Doherty Died amid a Contentious Court Fight with Her Ex. How She Was Able to Divorce Him After Her Death
July 20, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Ashley Silberfeld talks through some of nuances of divorce cases, when one of the parties has died.


How to Have an Actually Productive Argument, According to Lawyers
July 19, 2024 – In this HuffPost Life article, Blank Rome Partner Marilyn Chinitz discusses arguments as an art and social practice, and speaks to the best practices when it comes to arguing.


Breaking Up? Here’s What to Do About Joint Bank Accounts
July 13, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Lois Liberman shares advice with The Penny Hoarder on how to begin navigating the process of dealing with joint bank accounts in a divorce.


Alan R. Feigenbaum Joins the To Dine for Podcast
July 1, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Alan R. Feigenbaum joins the To Dine For Podcast and discusses the “Non-Linear Love” project, a collection of unique relationship stories that reframe the way we think about dating, romance, break-ups, divorce, and love.


Email Exchanges in Divorce Litigation Carry Immense Risk
June 28, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Alan R. Feigenbaum authored this New York Law Journal article discussing the risks and stress associated with email exchanges as a divorce lawyer.


Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Went from ‘Domestic Bliss’ to Divorce: Inside Their Ongoing Multi-Year Legal Feud
June 20, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Sophie Jacobi-Parisi shares commentary with CNN on the bifurcated divorce process and its potential for detrimental effects on proceedings.


Blank Rome’s Linda Kornfeld and Stacy D. Phillips Named 2024 Top Women Lawyers by Daily Journal
June 20, 2024 – Blank Rome Insurance Recovery practice group partner and co-chair Linda Kornfeld and Matrimonial & Family Law partner Stacy D. Phillips have been named 2024 Top Women Lawyers by the Daily Journal.


The Long and Winding Road to Gender Parity in the Legal Profession
June 20, 2024 – Blank Rome Insurance Recovery practice group partner and co-chair Linda Kornfeld and Matrimonial & Family Law partner Stacy D. Phillips have been named 2024 Top Women Lawyers by the Daily Journal.


Mary Craig Calkins, Robert L. Kahan, and Kristina Royce Named Entertainment Business Visionaries
June 18, 2024 – Blank Rome is pleased to announce that partners Mary Craig CalkinsRobert L. Kahan, and Kristina Royce, who serves as co-chair of our firm’s Matrimonial & Family Law group, have been named Entertainment Business Visionaries by the Los Angeles Times B2B Publishing.


Alan R. Feigenbaum Joins the Dating Daze Podcast
June 17, 2024 – Partner Alan R. Feigenbaum takes on the “Non-Linear Love” project, which aims to view love through a non-linear perspective rather than judging relationships based on their path and relativity to marriage.


Marilyn B. Chinitz and Lois J. Liberman Recognized in Spear’s Legal Indices 2024
June 13, 2024 – Blank Rome is pleased to announce that Spear’s Legal Indices recognized partners Marilyn B. Chinitz and Lois J. Liberman in its 2024 Family Law Index for a second consecutive year.


‘I’m Divorcing after a Lot of Heartache:’ Should I Suggest My Husband Keep His $200,000 401(K), So I Can Take Our $360,000 House?
June 6, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Brett S. Ward provides perspective on the difficult distribution of assets in a divorce.


Navigating the Nuances of LGBTQ+ Divorce in California
June 5, 2024—In this Love Bytes blog, Stacy D. Phillips unpacks some of the unique challenges LGBTQ+ couples face when it comes to divorce.


When There Are No Custody Heartstrings to Pull
June 4, 2024 – Blank Rome Partner Alan R. Feigenbaum authored this New York Law Journal article discussing how important it is to critically analyze a parent’s claims regarding custody.


Conservatives Are Coming After This Type of Divorce- Here’s Why
May 31, 2024 – Blank Rome partner Marilyn Chinitz shares her thoughts with HuffPost on the benefits and efficiency of no-fault divorce.
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Attorney Spotlight: Alan R. Feigenbaum—New York

Stacy D. Phillips ●

This edition of Attorney Spotlight highlights one of my esteemed New York colleagues in Blank Rome’s Matrimonial & Family Law Group—Alan R. Feigenbaum.

Alan R. Feigenbaum
Partner

A graduate of Tulane University and the Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law, Alan has been practicing law for more than 20 years and is an invaluable member of our firm’s Matrimonial & Family Law practice group.

Alan has been interested in reading, writing, and communication as far back as he can remember, and a career in law turned out to be an excellent avenue for his passions. Following law school, Alan practiced commercial litigation at a large firm for several years, where he found that the training and initial experience overall was essential to a young lawyer. However, Alan was eager to build even deeper attorney-client relationships and the best path forward was to transition into family law. Alan always strives to add value to the lives of others, and working so directly in his clients’ lives is what he has found truly rewarding.

Read more on our website.

A Divorce Court’s Primer on Requesting Sole Custody

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

New York Law Journal, August 21, 2024 —

Domestic violence in the post-pandemic era continues to be at the forefront of divorce practice. This author has written previously on the need—for the sake of the many victims—to expand our views of domestic violence beyond physical violence, as domestic violence can and does take many different forms.

One of those forms derives from the use of language in communications, be it by email, text message, or, as was the case in L.W. v. J.U., 2024 NY Slip Op 50879(U) (Sup. Ct. Westchester County, July 9, 2024) (Justice James L. Hyer), communications sent on the Our Family Wizard application “which is intended to serve as a mode of communication between parties involved in high conflict custody matters.”

In custody disputes, divorce lawyers may be asked by clients something along the lines of “under what circumstances can I get sole custody?”

A mere difference in parenting styles (e.g., Mom believes in “no screens” and Dad is more lenient with “screen time”; Dad prepares a continental breakfast for the children whereas Mom throws frozen waffles in the toaster for the children) is unlikely to warrant an award (or discussion) of sole custody.

To be in sole custody territory, the conduct of one of the parents needs to be closer to what a reasonable person would consider extreme such that it puts a child’s physical and/or emotional wellbeing in patent jeopardy.

Read more on our website.

Epochs and Change. Facing Our Times, along with Ourselves.

Protecting Your Family Matters Newsletter, Summer 2024 

Stacy D. Phillips ●

Are you the same person you were 20 or 30 years ago? Even 10? Are we our same selves in any given era of life? Of course, the answer to each of these questions is “no.”

Times change, and eras or “epochs” of our lives change with them. We can look back on who we were in high school, college, or graduate/law school, and so on, and we were continually changing, hopefully evolving as individuals. Similarly, when we became parents, our needs and selves adapted. For example, being a mom or dad to a toddler was different from raising teenagers. Times and needs change, and these truths are no different in our marriages.

When speaking with my clients, it often seems they once had a “Hollywood” mentality regarding marriage. There are many films featuring couples living happily ever after as if the happy moments we enjoy will be the day-to-day norm and everything will work out perfectly. It is tragic to me that most people going through divorce realize that they have experienced just that: fantasy. They did not sign up for the tough times and were caught unaware of the tremendous amount of commitment, work, and compromise marriage takes over time and eras. As it often turns out, we do not always grow in the same ways, and everyone’s eras are uniquely their own.

Read more on our website.

The State of New York Divorce Practice

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

New York Law Journal, July 26, 2024 —

Compassion, humanity and the resources to act promptly are greatly needed when it comes to making sure that the matrimonial courts in New York are able to continue providing invaluable assistance to families in distress. Our matrimonial courts are tasked with protecting the best interests of children across this entire state. If our courts are slow to act due to backlog and insufficient resources then that reality has the potential to enable bad actors to prevail, secure in the knowledge that the courts may struggle to stop them. So the question I have is, have our matrimonial courts been provided with the resources necessary to protect children of divorce?

To answer that question, I decided to poll some of the many upstanding members of our Bar, as well as a retired judge, and get their views on the matter. To conclude this article, I will share my views as well.

Read more on our website.

Email Exchanges in Divorce Litigation Carry Immense Risk

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

New York Law Journal, June 28, 2024 —

Each and every day, when we step out of the front door, we take risks. Perhaps we are aware of them, and perhaps, we are not. If you read the newspaper, you are no doubt acutely aware of the risks that surround us in an increasingly precarious world.

As divorce lawyers, one of the risks we take hour by hour, minute by minute, involves the exchange of emails, whether with clients or our opposing counsel. It is essential that we monitor with exacting precision what we put in writing in the form of emails. That includes not only proofreading the text of our emails, but also the minutiae of triple-checking who is listed in the “To,” “Cc,” and “Bcc” fields, and what is written in the “Subject” field.

This author finds himself looking in the “Sent” folder multiple times after an email is sent, and then hours or even days later having flashbacks where I begin to second guess if I sent an email to all of the correct recipients. Why am I so obsessively compulsive about the emails that I send in my capacity as a divorce lawyer?

I can answer that question for you by directing your attention to the recent decision of the Supreme Court of the State of New York, County of Westchester, in J.G. v. L.G., 2024 NY Slip Op 50659(U) (Sup. Ct., Westchester Cty., June 3, 2024). If you have not yet read the decision, put your pencils down and please read it.

In J.G., the plaintiff-husband filed a motion requesting that certain emails between counsel be deemed a binding settlement agreement as to the issue of the disposition of the marital residence.

Read more on our website.

When There Are No Custody Heartstrings to Pull

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

New York Law Journal, June 4, 2024 —

There is something about parental arguments over children, otherwise known as custody disputes in the matrimonial arena, that generate a spectrum of emotions not seen in the context of disputes over dollars. Certainly, financial disputes carry their own set of emotions for divorcing spouses. But custody disputes tend to open the door to claims made in litigation that, from the outsider’s attentive view, are sometimes a bridge too far.

How can we explain the tendency of litigants to overreach when it comes to custody disputes? First, there is the salt on the wound feeling from shifting from a world in which a parent (stay at home or working) expects to see their child each day to a world in which days are spent by a parent without his or her child in the home.

Ashleigh Louis, Ph.D., a mediator with a background as a dual-licensed psychologist and marriage and family therapist who does work for Quantum ADR, describes the feeling of absence as follows: “Every moment that is allocated to the other parent is time that parent does not get to spend with their child, and the absence of control and oversight over their child’s wellbeing can set off a cascade of worry and distress. There tends to be significant hurt, anger, resentment, sadness, and other challenging feelings that can permeate the ongoing lens through which they view the other parent, not only in their relationship with each other, but also in their relationship with their shared children.”

Read more on our website.