Navigating the Nuances of LGBTQ+ Divorce in California

Stacy D. Phillips ●

The end of a marriage is always challenging for the couple involved, and the impact on family members can be significant. Those in LGBTQ+ marriages are no different. Issues around child custody, property division, spousal support, and the enforcement of prenuptial agreements all apply to same-sex couples.

In California, there is no common-law marriage. In some cases, the LGBTQ+ couple may not have been married long at the time of the divorce, but they may have been together for much longer than the marriage itself. Whether they were registered as a domestic partnership will make a difference. In such cases, the couple will have similar rights and obligations as those married for the same length of time.

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In the News

Below is a roundup of our attorneys’ recent awards, recognitions, media, and other accomplishments from around the country.

Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Dating, and Divorce: Oh My!
May 29, 2024 – Blank Rome partner Alan R. Feigenbaum will join Judge Matthew F. Cooper (New York State Supreme Court, Retired) to present “Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Dating, and Divorce: Oh My!” a Federal Bar Association myLawCLE program being held Wednesday, May 29, 2024, from 1:00 to 2:40 p.m. EDT, as a live online webinar.

Marilyn B. Chinitz, Kristina Royce, and Brett S. Ward Recognized in Variety’s Legal Impact Report 2024
April 17, 2024 – Blank Rome is pleased to share that Matrimonial & Family Law partner Marilyn B. Chinitz and practice co-chairs and partners Kristina Royce and Brett S. Ward have been recognized in Variety’s 2024 Legal Impact Report.

Following in the Footsteps of Trailblazers and Serving as Role Models Today for the Next Generation of Women
April 17, 2024 – In this Love Bytes blog post, Stacy D. Phillips shares her feelings on women as trailblazers and how they can influence the generations to come.

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Attorney Spotlight: Philadelphia—Mary T. Vidas

Stacy D. Phillips ●

This edition of Attorney Spotlight highlights one of my revered Philadelphia colleagues in Blank Rome’s Matrimonial & Family Law group—Mary T. Vidas.

Mary T. Vidas
Partner

A graduate of Georgetown University and the Temple University Beasley School of Law, Mary has been practicing law for 40 years and is a preeminent member of our firm’s Matrimonial & Family Law practice group. Mary began her career at Blank Rome as a Litigation Law Clerk working in matrimonial as well as asbestos litigation and personal injury law. After a time of splitting her work across these different practices, Mary eventually transitioned completely to matrimonial and family law, having taken to it well, and has enjoyed working with her clients throughout her storied career as a lawyer. During her career, Mary has served inter alia, as Chair of the American Bar Association’s Section of Family Law as well as presently serving as Chair of the ABA Family Law Section’s Strategic Planning Committee. She is currently the Family Law Section Delegate to the ABA House of Delegates. She has also been a frequent lecturer for the Pennsylvania Bar Institute, the Academy of Matrimonial Law, the Family Law Section of the American Bar Association, and the Pennsylvania Institute of CPAs. Mary has also worked with the Philadelphia Bar Association’s Judicial Commission leading investigations into judicial candidates and was recently honored as the Bar Association’s “Bar Star” for her work in this regard. Mary truly is a “Bar Star.”

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The Counseling Stigma. Breaking Away and Rising Above.

Protecting Your Family Matters Newsletter, Spring 2024 ●

Stacy D. Phillips ●

Change is not only part of our life’s journey; it is the journey. Relationships, the experience of going through a divorce, and certainly our existence post-divorce are no exceptions. Even if the divorce was our choice, it can be and often is a daunting experience. That is putting it mildly. Professional therapy and counseling are options available to help us cope with hard times and emotions—a way to understand our world and ourselves better. Nevertheless, there are historical perceptions and myths that persist even to this day concerning visiting a therapist or even seeking counsel, and cultural habits can die hard.

When meeting and discussing divorce with my clients, I regularly suggest seeking counseling. Such treatment should not be disparaged. Beyond speaking to a lawyer during this process, one should have a therapist to talk with throughout the divorce. To not talk about our emotions, however negative or even harmful, is completely counterintuitive to the purpose of moving on and forward in life. Before, during, or after a divorce, professional counseling is helpful. If we cannot move forward, we will be forever haunted by our own emotions. But if we can rise above the emotional pain, we can also rise above any cultural stigma standing in our way.

Read more on our website.

Following in the Footsteps of Trailblazers and Serving as Role Models Today for the Next Generation of Women

Stacy D. Phillips ●

When I was growing up, there were only a few visible career choices for women and even fewer high-profile role models. The traditional roles for women outside of being a homemaker and mother (which are truly admirable and hard-working jobs) often included being a teacher, a highly visible profession for women. Being a teacher is a commendable and (sadly) generally unappreciated profession, but it simply was not for me. Women had other professional options, like being in the medical profession as a nurse or doctor, but unfortunately, I hated needles, so I ruled them out quickly.

My mother was a travel agent, and after watching her suffer through that challenging profession, I quickly crossed that one off the list. Before I was born and through my early years, my mother was also a clothing buyer for a department store, which appealed to me more, particularly given my life-long love for clothes and fashion. However, in the end, I would have needed to be sufficiently passionate about retail sales to take the plunge, and I was not.

Following in the Family Business

My father, grandfather, and several relatives were highly accomplished lawyers, making going into the law field a no-brainer. Beyond the considerable influence of my dad, the thing that inspired me to pursue the law was seeing the success of two women who were his law partners. These two high-powered, well-known female attorneys made a lasting impression on me. One played a pivotal role in drafting the equitable distribution statute for the State of New York, which governs the division of assets in the event of a divorce. These trailblazers showed that women could make a difference in this profession and succeed. Their accomplishments resonated with my desire to make a difference, open doors for women, and bring the highest ethical standards to my work.

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Collaborative Divorce: A Viable Option for High Net-Worth Couples

Stacy D. Phillips ●

Contrary to popular belief, divorce is not always an ugly, highly confrontational affair. According to a Forbes report in 2022, approximately 90 percent of the half million divorces in the United States yearly are uncontested. Of these uncontested cases, some were settled because both parties agreed on everything, or in other cases, one party simply never responded to the divorce filing and failed to appear in court.

A percentage of uncontested divorces are collaborative divorces. Collaborative divorce involves the married parties going through an agreed-upon dispute resolution process to settle all issues related to dissolving the marriage. These proceedings are not done in a courtroom before a judge; instead, they are conducted privately between the parties, with their lawyers and a team of professionals, including forensic accountants and appraisers.

Collaborative divorce requires that the parties sign a binding agreement to participate in the collaborative divorce process. Everyone then comes together to decide on issues, such as property division, spousal support, and child-related matters, negotiating compromises until both sides are amenable to the final result.

The contract binding the parties to this collaborative agreement also includes language mandating that the parties must hire new lawyers and other professionals if the collaborative process does not work. The fear of that new huge expense encourages parties to keep coming back to the table and trying to resolve their issues throughout the process.

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A Divorce Court Prioritizes a Family’s Best Interests

New York Law Journal, March 29, 2024 ●

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

At times, this author has noticed a certain level of dejectedness among matrimonial lawyers in the post-pandemic world, and that includes yours truly. The feeling stems from what many matrimonial lawyers have told me is a sense that our judicial system is understaffed, and in desperate need of more resources.

More specifically, I hear about (and experience) a growing number of motions that are left undecided, judgments of divorce that seem to take eons to get signed (and then entered), and clients who are, accordingly, left somewhat disillusioned by the process.

But most concerning is a sentiment I’ve started to hear recently, which is that the best interests of families are not being prioritized, and not out of any ill will, but simply because our judicial system is overwhelmed and cannot practically keep up with the relentless flow of divorce cases that enter the system daily.

Perhaps that is why, when I read Judge Victor G. Grossman’s recent decision in J.H. v. C.H., 2024 NY Slip Op 50220(U) (Supreme Court, Putnam County), I couldn’t help but smile in complete satisfaction from start to finish, because in this case, a divorce court did what we, as matrimonial lawyers, can only hope for: it prioritized the best interests of a family.

Read more on our website.

Great Strides for Women and the Long Road Still Ahead: My Personal Views of an Inspiring Evening with the Honorable Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi

Stacy D. Phillips ●

Photo: Courtesy of Public Counsel (Feb. 2024), Hugh Williams Photography

Many civics-minded people dream of meeting and interacting with a former Speaker of the House of Representatives. And despite my profound respect for having risen to the top of her profession, if I am honest, I had not idolized Honorable Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi before meeting her a few weeks ago. But I do now.

Not only is Nancy Pelosi someone who has helped to lead our nation over the past few decades, she has also been an unwavering role model and champion for women and a fierce advocate for equality and fairness. But after having the great fortune to meet her and speak with her and hear her talk to a room full of community leaders, I am now a massive fan. Yes, I am duly impressed with her public service and government leadership track record; she blew me away when I learned she was a mother who raised five children before ever seeking public office. Blown away may be an understatement.

We were both attending the annual William O. Douglas Award gala for Public Counsel, the largest nonprofit public interest law firm in the country dedicated to advancing civil rights and racial and economic justice and amplifying the power of our clients through comprehensive legal advocacy. I am the current Vice Chair and the incoming Chair, starting in October of this year. Nancy Pelosi was our distinguished honoree and the recipient of our prestigious Douglas Award, which is named after late U.S. Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas.

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Let’s Imagine a Ban on Prenuptial Agreements

New York Law Journal, March 5, 2024 ●

Alan R. Feigenbaum ●

Let us begin this writing/reading experience by clearing the air right from the start: the answer is “no”—this author does not believe that prenuptial agreements should be banned. We live in a free country, with free will, and the freedom to enter into contracts is a staple of American jurisprudence.

We tell our clients, rightfully so, that prenuptial agreements are intended to provide certainty to a point where the soon to be newlyweds can rest assured that issues of equitable distribution, spousal support, and rights on death will be safely walled off from the prospect of litigation, or, at least the scope of potential disputes will be limited if judicial intervention becomes necessary.

But if that is the case, then it begs the question why we keep seeing prenuptial agreements at the center of, yes, divorce litigation. There also appears to be a growing sentiment, at least in the podcast ecosystem, that prenuptial agreements may not be worth the paper they are written on.

The title of this article is designed to provoke a discussion about the viability of prenuptial agreements. A cookie cutter, redundant discussion of the elemental components of a prenuptial agreement will, in my view, get us nowhere and answer none of our questions.

Instead, we ought to look at how prenuptial agreements are being interpreted and enforced by our courts to better understand why we, as divorce lawyers, oftentimes see prenuptial agreements as uniquely complex legal instruments that are fraught with the potential for peril.

Read more on our website.

In the News

Below is a roundup of our attorneys’ recent awards, recognitions, media, and other accomplishments from around the country.


The Unhappiest (or Happiest, for Some) Month of the Year – January is National Divorce Month (Or Is It?)
January 25, 2024 – In this LinkedIn Article, Stacy D. Phillips shares her thoughts on what has become to be known as National Divorce Month.

 
My In-Laws Asked Me to Relinquish Any Claim to $100,000 They Gave Us as a Down Payment for Our House — On the Day We Closed. Is That Legal?
January 25, 2024 – Ory Apelboim was interviewed by MarketWatch discussing marital property rights within postnuptial agreements.
 
Stacy D. Phillips named one of the 2024 Top 10 Super Lawyers of Southern California
January 18, 2024 – Stacy D. Phillips has been named one of the 2024 Top 10 Super Lawyers of Southern California, an honor she has achieved every year since 2013.
 
Stacy D. Phillips named one of the 2024 Top 50 Women Super Lawyers of Southern California
January 18, 2024 – Stacy D. Phillips has been named one of the 2024 Top 50 Women Super Lawyers of Southern California, an honor she has achieved every year since 2005.
 
Stacy D. Phillips named one of the 2024 Top 100 Super Lawyers of Southern California
January 18, 2024 – Stacy D. Phillips has been named one of the 2024 Top 100 Super Lawyers of Southern California, an honor she has achieved every year since 2006.
 
Disarming the Narcissist: with guest expert Wendy Behary
January 11, 2024 – Lois J. Liberman hosted this webinar with Wendy Behary, an author and expert on the subject of narcissism and the approach one should take when dealing with narcissists.
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